It Doesn't Even Matter

I didn't go to the gym at all yesterday. My sister called me just before I left to work out and asked if I wanted to eat lunch with her. So I did. And today, as usual, I ate with a friend. So that ruled today out, too, because I know I won't go after work.

I've been feeling really down lately, and not just your normal "I'll be OK" kind of down, either. I don't recall having ever been this down before. It feels as if I won't ever get back up again at times.

Making myself feel worse, I stumbled across an old friend on Facebook. Perhaps you might recognize her?

Remember me?

Don't worry about it if you have no idea who this. It's an old story and not really important. It's just like being kicked while you are already down. I ran across her without really meaning to. She's married, has kids, and is either living in Pittsburgh or Atlanta. From what I could tell, her parents are super wealthy and for the most part her life is pretty awesome. But this is the person I never knew, not the person I was actually talking to. So it doesn't even matter.





Despite Alana's warnings from the other day to steer clear of protein powder, last night before bed I drank a glass. Yeah, its supposed to keep your body from cannibalizing your muscles while you sleep. And Lord knows I can't afford to have my own body devouring my muscles. But the problem with drinking this protein shake before bed is the bladder aspect. I got up 3 times during the night to pee. And boy did I ever need to pee! So I'm a bit tired today.

It's hard to be productive when you're tired. And I'm behind on a project I need to be making good progress on. So that's not good.

Tomorrow, barring any unexpected lunch invitations, I will either go to bodypump class and embarrass myself or else do a back and bicep workout with the freeweights. Bodypump will make me look like a fool, which I tend to do all by myself most of the time anyway. Freeweights will just make me super sore so that I walk funny for the next 2 days because I can't hold my arms in a normal and relaxed position. But no one is looking at me anyway, for the most part, so that's OK. Just so long as no one challenges me to a boxing match or game of tennis I should be alright.

I have a lot of important things to think about. They are distracting me from my project at work. Also distracting me at work is a couple of unexpected problems a few people keep having which they call me about. They don't know what's wrong, so it's up to me to figure it out for them and fix it. Some people call that job security, but in this day and age I truly can't say that I believe in any such thing.

Well, the workday is done. It's time for me to hit the road. I have no specific plans for tonight and really nothing that I'm looking forward to. That's pretty sad. I need to sit down and start coming up with things that I can do by myself that I really enjoy and then go do them. Maybe I'll go see a movie.