Tuesday, November 1, 2011

10 Things About Me (cause 100 is too many)

Seeing as my blog has been mostly about working out, and seeing as I haven't been to the gym for awhile due to illness and thus haven't been able to blog about working out, and seeing as I stumbled on a post in which a blogger posted 100 things about themselves which was surprisingly interesting, I decided to try posting just 10 things about me. I have no idea how this is going to go, but if it isn't at all interesting to me then you'll never see it anyway.

1) I currently live in the great state of Alabama. There, I said it. Don't judge me. I'm not in the Klan, have never seen any sign of the Klan, and don't know if there is any such thing as the Klan anywhere near here. We do have a lot of engineers, though, and they can be pretty anal and annoying at times, but mostly in a bitchy khaki pants and baby blue shirt kind of unmanly way.

2) I used to be a highly competitive runner and overall athlete. But running was always my greatest asset. I was faster than almost everyone else in every sport I played which helped compensate for my not being as skilled in some of those sports. As I have gotten older and more injured, the speed has declined somewhat and now I don't play any sports that require another person's participation. As I write this, it occurs to me that I really should do some sprinting soon. I haven't done a sprint workout in a long time and that is an ability that fades fast.

3) I am not a big fan of fantasy football, or fantasy sports in general, but I have played in a league at work for the past 3 years, coming in second or third the first two years. But this year looks to be an Epic Fail year for me. I barely even know the players I have on my team, and I must confess, I barely care to learn who they are. I guess I drafted really poorly and I don't know that I can recover from that. I am getting stomped this season.

4) I am trying to relearn the guitar. I am truly shocked at how much I once knew and have since totally forgotten. I thought that once I started up playing again most of the old knowledge would return, including the songs I used to know how to play, and especially the songs I wrote myself. Well, it hasn't happened. I can't remember any of the old songs and only partially remember one song I wrote which was funny at the time, but would seem really creepy if I were to perform it now. It's called "Jailbait." I wrote it about the hot younger sister of a friend of mine. At the time, I was 18 and she was 15 or 16. It was kind of funny back then. Today, she works at the same company as me, has no memory of me at all, and for a man my age to sing about wanting jailbait would probably get me beaten up and arrested. Somewhere there is a recording on a cassette tape of me performing it, even saying her name in the middle of it, but I guess I don't care enough to search for it. And I definitely don't want her to ever hear it.

5) I am anticipating needing to buy a new car within the next year or two. I'd really like to buy something cool, such as a Mustang GT or Dodge Challenger. But I fear with my current driving needs I'm probably going to end up in a Volkswagen turbo diesel Jetta or something similar. If necessary I will buy a red one, but that's about as exciting as it gets with a diesel Jetta. FML.

6) I think I have a very real health problem which I tried to get my previous doctors to figure out, but 2 of the last 3 were just unwilling to try and the other one was, I suspect, too crooked to even be trusted. My current doctor I know little about, but I think I may need to bring it up and see if I can get any help with this. According to what I have read, in order to be the height and weight that I am, and have been for the last few years, I would have to eat around 3000 calories every single day. I track my diet and calories and I average about 2000 calories. No matter what I do, no matter what kind of trainer I hire and work out with, no matter what, my weight is locked in and won't move for anything. Except up. That ain't right.

7) Some days I feel like I'm still 20 years old. I just volunteered to roll a fellow blogger's yard in response to something he did to another blogger. It was a good 15 minutes later that it occurred to me that people actually get arrested for doing that these days. How would I explain that one to my boss? "Well you see, I have this blog, and well, this guy in the next town over was messing with a blogger friend of mine ... no, I've never met either of them in person. Anyway, so I offered to roll this guy's yard. Yes, the Auburn football signs were my idea. War eagle! So anyway, it made perfect sense at the time ..."

8) I'm struggling with Google+. There are people on there who know me, but they don't know that they know me because I haven't had a chance to tell them about my blog and my name here. Oh, don't act so surprised. Did you really think my name was Epic Fail? Or Emile Humongous Buttocks? Seriously??

9) I seem to have picked an epically bad time to start this blog, as the whole blog world feels like its in a state of decline, much like the entire Western world. I really like the people I have encountered on The Blog, but no sooner do I start to follow someone than they seem to either call it quits, go private and don't invite me (Onion Gypsy), or take a break and maybe never come back. What's up with that?

10) I began this blog with the intention of writing one quick thought every single day. That didn't last long. Work is always hitting me in waves, leaving me no time to write down what is on my mind until it is too late and the thought is lost. My personal life is in a bit of chaos. And my access to The Blog is somewhat less regular than I expected. Some days I just can't get access to it until after 10 o'clock at night, and by then I just need to go to bed and get ready for tomorrow. So much for good intentions.


  1. 4. Yeah, better let that one go.

    5. Jetta? Really? I'm thinking of you in something more macho. Please.

  2. #3. I googled fantasy football, and it still didn't really give me much of an idea of wtf it is.

    #5. Or a Ute? ;o)

    #6. Dude, it's called getting older.
    Middle age spread. Like dairy spread, only less appealing.

    #8. G+ is quite boring.
    But I'm keeping it... just in case.

  3. #1 I am from Alabama. Huntsville. I do not judge.

    #2 Let's race

    #3 I don't get fantasy football so I tried to join a "loser's pool" instead. I was out week #1

    #7 War Eagle!

    #9 I will never go private and not invite you. I should go private .. cause I put too much out there. That's what people say to me anyway. Because they say that - I can't.

    #10 I like your blog the way it is. One quick thought every day just wouldn't do it for me.

  4. VonLX, it was such a big achievement for me at the time to have totally written and recorded my own original song. I guess I need to just work harder and write another one. Yeah, I'm not excited about a Jetta, but maybe Ford will come out with a turbo diesel Mustang that makes 700 lb-ft of torque and still gets 40 mpg? That would be awesome!

    Ute, I'm playing it and I don't entirely get it. I suppose if I did then I might be doing better at it. You know, I don't think there are any utes made in the USA anymore, unless you count pickup trucks, and I already have one of those. Yes, middle age spread, but there is more to it than that. As for G+, I am out there, but I don't see much happening at all. Then again, most of the things on the net aren't entirely hopping lately. Even Facebook isn't as much fun as the blog used to be.

    Alana, #1 - you are from Huntsville? What schools did you go to? What year did you graduate? We need to talk!
    #2 As for racing, I might need a few months to train beforehand. And some steroids, HGH and that blood doping drug the Chinese speed skaters use, just to see if I could make it at all competitive. I've slowed down a lot since ACL surgery. Do you know where Esslinger Road is? Wanna race me up that?
    #3 The most important thing to know about fantasy football is that if you play it then you can't cheer for a single team anymore because you have all this invested in individual players and you need specific people to score every week. It annoys everyone around you who isn't playing and wants to just watch a game and enjoy it.
    #7 Damn right!
    #9 Are you sure? You didn't even accept my Facebook request so I'm a bit nervous on that one. Even so, good to know. ;-)
    #10 Even better to know. It's good to have people like my blog, especially considering all the time I spend writing totally random crap about my daily life here. :-)

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  7. Alana, see there, little did you realize that I am in reality Johnny Depp. Aren't you glad you're now friends with me?

  8. Could you try a dietican or naturopath to help with your guts???

    Nothing wrong with a VW, 'specially a red one, but I d agree the dodge would be cooler!

    I have enough trouble working out the changes on FB; G+ I've gotten as far as typing hello. I have no clue!!!

    I don't feel much older than I did at 20 either, although I just realised all the kids look at me & probably think the same thing I did when I looked at someone my age when I was their age........oh dear......

  9. PS LOL @ Mr Depp. I'm really Kate Hudson....no wait, Kate Winslett, no wait.....now I'm having an identity crisis!!!!!

  10. AlleyCat, I've never talked with a dietician before, so I don't know. It might be worth looking into though. Maybe they could suggest some things I hadn't heard before? Kate Hudson, Kate Winslett, they are both pretty impressive. It's hard to go wrong either way.

  11. 4. Right there with ya! Picked up my guitar [being all inspired and shit] with the biggest confidence I could remember how to play decent anyway. Yeahright, that did not happen. I'm not decent --- I had to realize I'm descended.

    5. Who wouldn't love to have a Mustang GT [drool]... or Dodge... [my mind wandered off a bit, sorry]

    6. That's just real weird.

    7. Hahahah!!!

    8. G+ have actually grown on me. I like it, although people seem to write it off. Don't have many "friends" though [4, real lame...], but I follow celebrities to have something to read every day [cheeezzz, lame-o]

    9. I've also noticed the decline in people writing. Whenever I crawl the webz for good readings and find one that's good, it's always updated like a year ago. And I chose to go private with my blog, but I did invite you :).

    10. Don't change the blog, it's great! I'd rather read some longer posts with longer timespan in between than those shorter ones. But then again, I like to read. A lot.

  12. Heartbroken, time has passed and I have been practicing my guitar faithfully and ... I still suck. Meanwhile, the 'check engine' light on my car is still on. Meanwhile, the engine in my truck is making a lot of noise. Sounds like that new car decision is going to have to be made very soon.