RAWR - I'm stressed

I need a vacation and I need it now. I just wasted 1 1/2 hours trying to get information about vacation rentals in Florida. Let me just say, Sandestin Golf and Beach Resort has the worst customer service of anyone I have ever dealt with, and yes, I let them know it. I wouldn't be surprised of the voice message I left for them ends up on the internet. I didn't hold back

Anyway, aside from raging at the high school jerkoffs who don't want to do their jobs at Sandestin, I have something else on my mind.

Years ago I had reconnected with a group of friends from way back. At first they acted like my new best friends. But it wasn't long before I noticed that all the females in the group tended to gang up on everyone else, especially if you ever dared to disagree with them about anything. In fact, one of the women even warned me about the others before rejoining them.
 

Group Think

It didn't take long for me to get truly sick and tired of the gang-think and their insistence that we all think alike (translation: agree with them or else.) Anything I said relating to my own beliefs, on the internet or in person, they ganged up on and attacked. It got to the point where I didn't want to interact with them unless they were drinking and too busy laughing to bother me about the fact that I'm not a spineless wimp who agrees with whatever they say just to appease them the way many of their husbands and ex-husbands did.

Eventually, we all joined Facebook. We all added each other as friends. I had 2 accounts, one only for friends who knew me exclusively through the internet, and another for people who knew me in real life, but knew nothing about me on the internet. Because this group of friends knew me in both places I added them to both accounts. They were the only ones to get this privilege.

Having the same friends on 2 accounts which I wanted kept totally separate proved problematic, as they would tag me in photos, but not pay attention to which one of my accounts they had tagged me from. After awhile I realized that they were as confused by my dual accounts as I was by trying to keep them separated. So I dropped them from the internet Facebook account and kept them on the real-life Facebook account.

They took great offense at this, but didn't say much about it to me, only to each other. Months later, one of them went off on me in a tirade about how I had deleted them because they disagreed with things I posted (all the time.) I told them why I deleted them from the one account - it was damned confusing - and they all said they understood. But even before this happened, whenever they got together in person to party, I noticed that I was not invited. After I dropped them from the internet-only account, things only got worse.

The last several times they've all come to town to meet and hang out, even though they knew I was in town, they didn't mention it to me. One time I just happened to go to the same bar as them on a night when they were all there, several having come in from out-of-town, and all drinking. I sat down at the table they were at because I recognized several of my other friends sitting there and those friends had invited me over. When I looked around and saw this group of friends, they were not smiling and not happy to see me.

They claimed they were just tired.

Last Friday night, once again, they all came to town. They all got together and had a big party. I was in town. I was not invited. When I asked about this, they gave the usual excuses. "Oh, we were just getting together for a few hours. It was no big thing." Except that it was big enough for all of them to be there and not tell only one person from the group - me.

The big source of disagreement between all of them and me seems to be ... everything - politics, religion, morality, fundamental beliefs, right and wrong.

So after this last blow-off, I'm thinking of just dropping them all. We already don't hang out, by their choice, so I don't see any point in keeping them among my friends on Facebook. It isn't as if they talk to me on there anyway. All it does is allow me to see how many times they've gotten together while I was in town and left me out of it. I can't see much point to that. It certainly doesn't improve my day any, and they couldn't give a shit how I feel. So why keep them among my friends when they so clearly don't wish to be?

I know there will be drama. It doesn't matter that they blow me off. All that will matter is that I made that final cut and dropped them from a list on Facebook. And they will give me shit. And they will lie their asses off and say they never shut me out or excluded me or talked bad about me or didn't want to be friends with me. And it will just increase my stress.

My stress is already sky high these days. I don't need any more of this.

So anyway, that's what is on my mind right now. It isn't why I sat down to blog, but it's what came out. I'm as surprised as you are.


Perhaps this will help me relax and calm down before going to bed: