Monday, May 16, 2011


Last night I drove through pouring rain for several hours. My car was soaking wet when I left it sitting in the driveway at nearly midnight.

This morning when I went outside to get in my car and drive to work, it had been raped by a flock of birds. It was one giant poo fest. I looked all around, and especially above it, to see how this could have happened. There are no tree branches above my car. There is no wire. It was not parked up against the house. It was out in the open on its own.

And yet, every bird for miles around appears to have stopped by to shit on the car. Several of them appear to have been a dead-drop, meaning the birds were either sitting on the car when they did it, or else they were hovering above it.

Why? Why??



  1. Or could it just be ONE bird with a very bad bout of the runs???? ;)

  2. Well if it's any consolation, it's meant to be good luck when a bird shits on you.

    So by all accounts, you're in for some fucking awesome luck! ;op

  3. LOL at both Amanda & Ute.

    Hope you were close to a car wash!

  4. Amanda, I can't imagine one bird having enough poop inside themselves to do all this, but maybe if it was a pigeon? Or one of those giant prehistoric New Zealand eagles?

    Ute, yeah, if it's good luck then I'm about to win the lottery.

    AlleyCat, not only have I not had time to wash the car, but yesterday it misted just long enough to get the poop damp and make it runny, but not enough to wash it away.