I Knew It!

To recap yesterday, Sunday night I drove through rain and parked my car in the middle of the driveway, all shiny and dripping wet. The following morning the neighborhood birds took turns dive-bombing my shiny clean car with bird shit.

So last night, after work, I decided to try an experiment just to see if my cynical view of birds and my own life has any merit to it. I parked my now shit-covered car in the grass next to the driveway, directly under the wires leading to the house from the telephone pole, where I know the birds like to sit and shit all morning long the way my coworkers like to gather around the coffee pot in the breakroom and talk before starting their day.

And what do you think happened?

Yeah, exactly what I thought would happen. My already shit covered car was not touched. Not one new drop of bird shit appeared anywhere on my car this morning even though I put it directly in their path.

It seems the birds around here are snobs. They only like to shit on the freshest, finest looking shiny cars. Once your car has been 'tainted' by bird shit, even though it is their own, and is no longer all pristine and pretty, suddenly it isn't good enough for them!

Asshole birds.