Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Back to the Gym

I made it back to the gym finally. It wasn't easy. I had to dig through boxes to find my iPod, but couldn't find my earbuds. So I ended up wearing funky brand new functified wraparound ear 'things'. I couldn't find a single pair of running shorts, so I had to run in a pair of shorts that I wear to work in the yard. They look nothing like running shorts at all.

My Skeletoes
Also, I decided to try out my brand new pair of Skeletoes shoes - you know, those new shoes with individual toes that look like Fred Flintstone's feet.

I have never run in shoes like these before. It never occurred to me that it might be in some meaningful way different than running in a nice pair od Nikes. But as it turns out, it is VERY different.

I should probably mention that I have horrible feet with mangled toes and bones that even a foot surgeon said could never really be fixed so that they work right. Any time I do a run of any significant distance I come home to blood-soaked socks because my feet are just deranged and mostly useless beyond a mostly awkward and graceless tramping about. So I had wondered just how my feet would perform in a pair of shoes that separate each individual toe into its own section and make it do its own share of the work.

As it turns out, it made the run quite a bit harder. I do believe this is the first time I can recall that my feet actually complained of being tired before.

And this wasn't the best night for me to be trying out something so radically new, either. Considering that I haven't run in over a month now, probably closer to two, and I'm sure I've gained weight since moving here on top of that, all in my gut.

Also the pollen count for today was a whopping 11.2 out of a possible 12 with weathermen warning people with asthma to remain indoors and people with general pollen allergies to avoid strenous outdoor activities as much as possible. I have severe allergies and have been battling what seem to be the early signs of adult onset asthma for the last 2 years. My allergist told me 15 years ago that I should not be running outdoors at all, but I ignored him. It wasn't that I didn't respect his opinion. Its just that running on a treadmill is so mindnumbingly boring that it makes me want to kill myself.

I knew I was already having sinus and allergy problems before I got to the gym. I currently have the breath-of-death that always indicates a pollen-induced sinus infection. I knew I hadn't run in awhile and was already out of shape. I knew I had gained weight since moving here, all directly in front of me. I knew I don't normally run at night anymore, so it'd be a shock to my system. I knew I have never run in Skeletoes shoes before. But I also knew I have a race coming up in a month and I need to get ready as fast as possible. So I thought I'd push it and run hard.

Yeah, so I thought.

I ran about three-quarters of a mile and had to stop and walk. My feet, ankles and calves were not adjusting to these funky shoes and I felt as if I were running uphill the entire time. To be fair, these shoes are not the running shoe model, only I didn't know it at the time. I was just discovering it through trial and error. But it wasn't just because of my feet that I had to stop and walk. My lungs simply weren't working either. I couldn't breathe. I was sweating like a pig, but running like an elephant, pounding the treadmill and dragging my feet repeatedly while waiting for my body to warm up and get adjusted to the fact that we were running. It never did.

The proper running shoe model Skeletoe
I walked for about a quarter mile and then ran for the next full mile. Then I had to walk again. Then I ran some. Then I finally gave up and walked for about three quarters of a mile and quit.

Nice porn mustache
There were some attractive girls around me in my new gym environment. I tried not to look because A) I'm new and don't want to be labeled the new perv B) I've gained weight and look like a total dork in my black Skeletoes with white toe socks, yard shorts, weird ear-things for my iPod, and fat gut and C) A good-looking girl just today told me that any time a strange guy smiles at a young, good-looking girl for any reason she thinks he's creepy and if he says "Hi" then he's twice as creepy, so it's really just best if he either scowls and seems like an ass or else ignores her and says nothing.

So anyway, it was a terrible workout. And Thursday night I'm planning to go back and do it again. Yay.


  1. Jesus fkn Christ! You should've just stayed home, dude!

  2. Ute, with the race coming up there was just no avoiding some of this, and the longer I put it off the worse it was going to be. Today my feet and ankles are killing me.

  3. Is it really BAD that I cheered on reading "Breath of Death"???? Finally some one who knows exactly WTF I am talking about. Do you get the gawd awful drip down the back of your throat too that makes your tonsils rather unhappy & it hard to sleep due to the constant swallowing???? Yes. I have shite sinus's too.

    Bummer about the calf muscle. When I did mine, very slow calf raises on a stair were what the physio ordered & haven't looked back. I'm feeling like a wobbly guts too after holidays. I think I ate my body weight in noodles. Haven't run in almost 2 weeks. Tomorrow morning should be interesting (provided I actually sleep tonight) when I go for a run!

    Interesting shoes....let me know how they go!

    Hope you calf is on the mend; & the shitty sinus's. Here's to better work outs K?

  4. Alleycat, I do indeed get that awful drainage sometimes. I hate it. As for the calf, I jogged a little tonight after a week off. It was so-so. It tweaked a little after I'd run a fair amount so I stopped and now I'm icing it. Race is in 2 weeks.