Monday Pumping Iron

Another Monday, another steely determination to hit the gym and work out my aching body. Yep, nothing is going to stop me this time. I have taken my preworkout energy mixture of amino acids and whatever else is in that thing I paid a lot of money for at GNC and I am on my way. I will not be stopped!

I could barely get into the parking lot at my gym because there were cars and people everywhere. They was some big truck out in front of the gym doors and as I pulled into the parking lot so very slowly in order to keep from running over people walking there I saw 2 cars parked on the concrete in front of the doors and people standing outside there apparently barbecuing.

"Oh hell, they must be having some sort of membership drive or something," I cursed to myself. "And from the looks of it, this is a membership drive for elderly Alzheimer's patients. Good God, everyone is ancient!"

Old people in Ford Crown Victoria's were everywhere, along with virtual mummies driving Toyota Camrys. And all parking badly.

I had to wade through a crowd just to get inside the gym. Once inside an elderly lady yelled at me, "sir, would you sign the guest register?"

"What? I'm not a guest. I'm a member." I replied somewhat impatiently. I think I made her mad.

I checked out the weight area and found very few of the old people there. "Good, at least I can still do my workout." But everywhere else in the gym there were swarms of people.

So I changed clothes and made my way to the weights. I did a back and bicep workout. And just like last week, I had no strength to speak of. My endurance was a little better, but the total lack of power makes me think I'm still battling something. I have no idea what to make of this, but it has hung on and hung on.

I tried my best to ignore the wretchedly old people who waddled past me, some with trainers assisting them, and many not paying any attention and just bumping into people who were in the middle of lifting weights.

After finishing my unproductive weight routine I went upstairs to run the treadmill. I had to make an athletic maneuver just to get past an old Chinese lady who was, I kid you not, walking right in the center of the stairs. She was moving very slowly with both elbows sticking out as she had both of her hands wrapped tightly around a cookie which she was eating without ever removing it from her mouth. I guess she was afraid someone might steal it from her. I don't know. But she reminded me of a squirrel the way she ate.

I made my way to the treadmill and completed a full half mile before that old lady made her way to the top of the stairs and over to the treadmills. Just like last week, despite my worthless strength workout, my running seemed to be totally unaffected. I ran fine. In fact, I ran even faster than I did last week. I finished a mile and went to stretch in the time it took the old squirrel woman to figure out how to turn on her treadmill and slowly creep along.

This wasn't a memorable workout. I did terrible. And oddly, my chest is still sore from the chest and tricep workout I did A FULL WEEK AGO. That is just not right. But whatever, at least I did another workout. Since December I think I've averaged a half workout per week maybe? Maybe less? I'm in sad shape. I really need to shake free of this whatever it is and get back to regular workouts every week. This once a week, or once every other week, or whatever I've done recently just isn't cutting it.


I'm posting this because it has been on my mind lately and I can't shake it. There was a movie on one night last week while was practicing guitar called "Abba: The Movie" and I halfway watched it. They've been stuck in the back of mind ever since. I remember when they were the biggest thing in rock music. The Beatles were gone. Zeppelin was gone. Elvis was dead. There was only them. And I was just a kid. I thought Agnetha, the blonde woman, was the hottest thing I had ever seen. Do you remember Abba?