Working Out by Falling Flat on My Face

I meant to do that

Well, I worked out again today. And I was just as weak and lousy as Monday. I had even promised the trainer that I would be better on Wednesday than I was on Monday, but clearly I lied. I sucked wind SOOOO badly. I was surrounded by beautiful girls and all I could think was "quit using up all the air in here! I need it."

This has been a lousy week so far. I haven't gotten enough of anything accomplished. I seem to have the organizational skills of a stereotypical dumb blonde. Meanwhile, several blondes are kicking my ass in my workout class, including the blonde trainer.

My Trainer

My trainer has blonde hair, blue eyes and a tiny little girlie voice like a doll, and yet she is all ripped muscle and kicks my ass in workout after workout. I have no pride left. I don't even care anymore.

Next month they are closing the locker room for renovations. So that means the men have to shower in the 'Family Locker Room' which I don't even know where that is. I don't know if they are renovating the womens' locker rooms at the same time, but if they are then that puts us all in that family locker room together, and you know that won't go over well with the women.

First of all, the women don't want the men seeing them naked, because they know we want to.

Secondly, the women don't want to see the men naked because, lets be honest, no one wants to see that. We don't even want to see each other's junk and we've all got the same stuff. It's a mostly unspoken rule in the men's locker room that you don't walk around naked for too long or someone is going to yell at you because it's ugly.

So I did lousy at my workout today. This time, though, the trainer didn't come over to me after class to see if I was OK and talk to me. At one point I had actually deluded myself into thinking she was repeatedly talking to me because she found me attractive. But then I noticed that she didn't seem overly thrilled when I asked her about the songs she was playing and offered to provide some cool tunes by The Heavy. That's when I noticed that all our conversations were about whether or not I was going to be alright or die from a heart attack in her class.

SLAM!

I would have thought that after 7 months of doing this exhausting workout I would be a lot better at it by now. Apparently not, though. Chronic lack of sleep seems to play a role in not improving and I have that in spades. No matter how hard I try to get myself into bed and asleep by a decent hour something always seems to pop up and take a shocking amount of my time and then suddenly its way late.

Did I mention my problem with a lack of organization skills?

Wait, what are we doing?