Monday, September 16, 2013


What would you choose to be famous for? 
I think it might be nice to be famous for being the richest man in the world currently married to supermodel Marisa Miller. That would be my choice. Or Brooklyn Decker. I'm easy. Whichever one is nicer and easier to get along with.

If you have a webcam, are you ever paranoid people can see you? 
I suppose it's possible, but all any hacker is ever going to see from my webcam is a pile of junk gathering dust and a 100-year-old clock that is most likely showing the wrong time because I've apparently adjusted it slightly too fast and it is just rocketing along. My computer is on my desk and my desk is in a room that was once intended to be attic, but got transformed into a bonus room/attic. So now it has things to do, but only if you can get around all the junk in there.

Do you find it difficult to sleep at night? Any reason(s) why? 
When I hit puberty it hit me back. I suddenly had rampant insomnia. My parents responded to my inability to sleep by beating the crap out of me in the mistaken belief that being beat up would help me sleep. The idea of taking me to a doctor never crossed their minds. Of course, the time I dislocated my ankle and they had to drive for an hour to come get me for the specific purpose of taking me to a hospital somehow also never made it cross their mind to take me to a doctor. They took me home and told me to just 'get over it.' Luckily, that insomnia problem seems to have mostly gone away now. Most  nights I can fall asleep within 15 minutes of laying my head upon  the pillow. Insomnia gone.

If you had to go on a game show, which would you choose? 
I don't know much about modern day game shows, I haven't seen one in years, but one  thing I know for sure is that I would never go on any Japanese game shows. They do truly horrible things to their fellow man just for the fun of it and seem to feel no compassion or remorse whatever. It's a little scary seeing this side of them, but it does give you some idea of why our soldiers during WWII hated them so much.

What about if you had to go on a reality show? 
I only know one and that is "Keeping Up With the Kardashians." I suppose if I say I'd go on that show you'd expect me to say it is because I want to have sex with Kim Kardashian. But the fact is I'd really rather be with Kourtney. Of the three, she seems the least irritating. Granted its a TV show so there is really no telling what, if any, similarity there  is between their TV persona and the real person. Still, I'm sticking  with Kourtney. Their show is the only reality TV show i know anything about.

Which would you choose then?  
I'd choose the reality show. You might win $10,000 on a game show, but you can make millions being a Kardashian.

Tell me about your favorite TV show: 
I hate to say this, but it's summer and we're in reruns for the most part so my favorite show, whatever it is, won't be back for another few weeks. Maybe it was Grimm? Or possibly The Big Bang Theory? No, it is Community! How to describe the show "Community"?? A bunch of screw-ups are going to a community college. The dean is a flaming homosexual, and if you watch the show you know I'm not even exaggerating. If anything I'm understating it. He's a riot. One of the male characters is possibly insane, but mostly harmless. His best friend is a nerd, but he's a bigger nerd. 2 of the female characters are extremely good looking, but never seem to have a date because they're so quirky that no one is sure what to do with them. Chevy Chase plays an old Baby Boomer who is going back to college and doesn't seem to realize that he's not young anymore, so he tries to hit on the good-looking girls, but they hate him. A guy named Chang got the job of security guard and used this lowly position to take over the school, kidnap the dean, replace him with a theater student done up to look just like him, and build an empire. There was an episode that consisted entirely of them in a video game, another which was entirely claymation. There is NOTHING they won't do on that show. It's genius and it is the funniest thing on television. Unfortunately their stupid network executives keep running it opposite "The Big Bang Theory" so no one ever sees it and it has nearly been cancelled several times.

Why were you last irritated? 
Because everyone in traffic today seems to be insane and cranky at the same time.

What time did you get up this morning? 
2 am to pee. 4 am to pee. 6 am to pee, shower, eat breakfast, get dressed and drive to work amongst a sea of insane and cranky people.

The last city you were in: Where was it and do you like it there? 
I went  to Nashville, TN, to see an exhibit at the Frist Center featuring a ton of Art Deco era ultra-rare automobiles. It was really, really cool. If you get a chance to go and see it I highly recommend it. But you'd better hurry. It ends soon.

Do you like the countryside? 
Yes, and at the moment I live there, so it's good that I don't hate it or anything.

If you see someone yawn, do you often yawn as well? 
I normally do. Considering how tired I just said I am you'd think I yawned while writing this, but I didn't. I'm actually too tired to yawn.

Recommend me a good movie: 
Oh hell, normally I have some new movie I just saw that was surprisingly good and yet I don't think most people have seen it. I know I have seen something recently, but I can't think of what. I'll say this, then, if you have Netflix rent the movie "Trucker" with Michelle Monaghan. Don't get all excited thinking  it's going to be the next Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. It's a really quiet indie film. But it caught me by surprise. After that, she did a mystery called "Gone Baby Gone" and it was even better. Then she did "Mission Impossible III," because apparently Tom Cruise realized she kept doing good movies and I guess he wanted some of her magical 'good movie' powers to bless his sequel. If Michelle Monaghan doesn't do it for  you, rent "The Kings Speech." The DVD sitting next to me on the couch right this moment is "Water for Elephants." I haven't seen it yet. You tell me, is it good?

Do you think you’d make a good model? 
A model? Not a role model? Well, I used to do photography and would occasionally seek out models, so I believe I'm pretty good at knowing what to look for in a good subject to photograph. I don't think I'd choose myself as a model for my own photography, so I can't see why anyone else would. My niece is a professional photographer. She often recruits me to photograph her and her family because she trusts my abilities behind the camera. But she has never once asked if she could photograph me. I photograph her all the time. She was a model for a few years. She is Emily Blunt's long lost twin. I'm not joking. I posted a photo I took of my niece together with a photo of Emily Blunt in an identical pose on Facebook and challenged anyone to guess which was which. The only person who knew which was which was her brother, and even he wasn't entirely confident of his choice.

Would you ever want to be one? 
Considering that good models make well over $100,000 before they even reach 18 years of age, while lesser models make nothing and pose simply for the hope of being discovered or even just for the heck of it, no, I see no point in my ever wanting to be a model. No one is ever going to pay me to pose for them.

How often do you change your hairstyle? 
Not often. I try to get women to cut my hair who have definite opinions about what works for me and what doesn't, and who seem to know what  they're talking about. But lately I haven't been able to do that. The last girl quit to go home and raise her babies. She was a beautiful, world-traveling surfer, but she got married and had 2 kids, so I understand her decision. Now I'm just searching. It's OK, though, because as I get  older my hair seems to be changing on its own. I don't know how this works exactly, but it looks different every day. It doesn't matter how I comb it or what I do, it does what it wants. I don't think what it does would qualify as a hair "style" per se, but at least it's hair and it's on my head. That's about all I can say about it.

What does it look like now? 
Depends on its mood. I think it is probably as tired as me so it probably looks tired and flat.

Do you have a favorite day of the week? Which is it? 
If I do it would be something tied to the weekend. Friday requires me to go to work, but then I am free after that and have 2 more days to remain free. That is an important thing because the stress comes first and then goes away, whereas Sunday starts off stress free and then grows increasingly stressful as the day reaches its end and you know you have work tomorrow. Saturday often involves me being told that I have "chores" to do and then getting yelled at for not having done enough of them, which is a lot like being at work. Hmm, I'm going to go with Friday. I might as well get paid for being abused.

Are you alone? 
More than I ever wanted to be.

When is the last time you were on the phone after 2 am? 
I think it was over a year ago. Does anyone reading this remember a blogger named JLee? She used to comment on Fingers "Whine Guide" blog. We used to talk on the telephone for hours. I miss that.


  1. That pic of Donald Trump just cracked me up. I don't know why... I just sorta have a picture in my head of you with your hair like that. HAHA!
    I cut Mboy's hair. No.2 on the clippers. I do a better job than our hairdresser!

  2. Ute, I could see my hair doing something goofy like that, probably right as some good looking girl was walking towards me or something. That'd be my luck.

  3. Replies
    1. RedShoes, I wish I could say the meme was my idea, but I'm a shameless thief. I stole it from Julie.

  4. Ah, yes. Community. I forgot to mention that one. I love Annie's boobs. The monkey. I guess her real boobs too.

    1. JulieMaloney, I love Annie, and her boobs, but Britta is my girl!


  5. You pee a lot in the middle of the night!!!! LOL

    I think you should come to Aus & let Ute cut your hair :0)

    1. AlleyCat, I do pee a lot in the middle of the night. My bladder thinks that any time I wake up, no matter what, this would be a great opportunity to pee. My bladder is like my cat, training me instead of me training it. My cat will hear me getting up to pee and then he's all "as long as you're up, I wanna go outside!"

    2. I do need to come to Australia. I have nothing keeping me here. I should just move there and go jogging with the roos.

    3. You wanna watch the Roo's while jogging. They can rip your bowel out! It's happened! No shit!

      But yeah, come to Oz!

    4. hope your kidneys aren't sick!! My cat decides any time I get up is food time!!!

      I wouldn't go jogging with roos!!!! danger will Robinson!!

    5. Ute, I'm already jogging with bobcats and mountain lions and now a family of skunks. Sounds like Australia is treadmill country then? Ha ha! I'm kidding. I couldn't keep up with a roo if I wanted to, I'm sure. And I've seen what happens to people who mess with them. Nasty business.

    6. AlleyCat, I think my kidneys are OK, more or less. I've been this way ever since the water made me sick in the city I used to live in. I think I had E Coli, but never found out for sure. I just got super sick for a month and it took forever to recover.