I have a neighbor with an old green Ford F150 pickup for sale. I'd really like to buy it. I have a pickup, but it's a Japanese mini-truck and has given me enough problems in recent years that I'd like to get rid of it. When I need a truck I usually need a full-sized truck and have to make do with my mini-truck. But for several things, such as pulling a trailer, the mini-truck just can't do it.
My stupid cat, as opposed to my other cat, got herself locked out of the house last night. All three of us were coming into the house at around 10 pm. It was pitch black outside and both cats came running in a panic when I pulled up. I opened the garage and started going inside. My intelligent, albeit stubborn, cat came right along with me. But the stupid cat just disappeared. nearly 4 hours later, as I was heading to bed, suddenly appeared at the front door, swimming on the long rectangular window along the hinge-side of the front door. I never let her in the front door because I want both cats to always come in the back. But she's stupid. Even when I open the front storm door for her, she'll try to ram her head through the hinges to get in, as if she just needs to push harder and the door while open in reverse. It's been a long time since the first time she did this and she still hasn't figured out that it doesn't work. As I said, she's dumb. So I left her outside overnight and went to bed. This morning she was SO excited to see me and be let inside that she laid down on my feet and licked my toes. Dumb cat, but cute. Lucky for her because if she wasn't cute she'd probably be dead already.
And now another meme:
First of all, is autumn your favorite season? Why or why not?
The only thing I like about Fall is football. I can't think of anything else about it that I particularly care for. It's bronchitis season, so I guess there's that, if you're into that sort of thing. Lots of allergies and infections and lung problems and drinking medicinal shots of Jager or Jack Daniels to clear out the nastiness. Sure it's a valid excuse to drink the hard stuff, but it's less fun when you're drinking it because you actually need to.
Is it ‘autumn’ or ‘fall’, to you?
Fall. Autumn is a girl's name, a girl I know who works as a stripper.
What kind of weather does your area get during this season?
It gets dark sooner and rains a lot during this time of year. The temperature cools off to a nice, less broiling level. Sometimes its actually really nice outside. This is a good time of year to go outside and play some backyard football because it's not too hot or too cold to be outside. But the rain is an ever-present threat.
Were you born in an autumn month? No, dead winter. I was a snow season baby and have the allergies to prove it.
Do you pay attention to any ‘fall fashions’?
I'm not terribly fashionable, but I definitely switch to long sleeves and a light jacket as the temperatures cool off.
Which leaf color is your favorite?
Whatever color is still attached to the tree and doesn't require me to rake it. I guess that'd be brown because the oak trees seem to hang onto a lot of their leaves all winter long, and that suits me fine.
Is it still fun to rake the leaves and jump in piles of them?
Wow, my dad used to make raking the leaves a royal pain. He'd get my brother and me out there at 7 am, while my disco queen sister sat up in her room with the door closed and locked and she'd get up at 2 pm to practice her disco dancing, and he'd have us raking the entire 3/4 acre lot all weekend long. If we jumped in it he'd go bonkers so we never did that. If we asked why our sister wasn't raking, too, he'd make some lame excuse and brush us off. There was nothing, and I mean nothing, fun about it.
When can you really tell that it’s autumn?
When they announce her name and she comes out and gets on the pole and ... oh, you mean fall? I can tell its fall right now because it's gray outside and raining and I'm watching football.
Do you enjoy carving pumpkins?
I do enjoy it, but I'm not as talented at it as I'd hoped I'd be. Plus, I have no kids so each year that I grow older it seems increasingly to remind me that I'm childless and I hate the way that feels.
Do you eat the pumpkin seeds? If so, do you put any kind of flavoring on it?
One year, my significant other tried to bake them and make some salted pumpkin seeds for us to eat. I have to say, it was less than spectacular and I hope we don't do it again this year.
Are you planning to go to a pumpkin patch this year?
We haven't ever gone to a pumpkin patch. We do corn mazes, though, and probably will again this year.
Which was your favorite Halloween costume to wear?
One Halloween I wore a very expensive ghoul mask, long black robes and some tall boots that made me look like a giant. I scared the living crap out of a lot of people and thoroughly enjoyed it. That was my favorite, but that mask has long since turned hard and brittle and probably dissolved into dust.
Are you planning to go trick-or-treating? Why or why not?
I have no children, as I said, and people generally frown upon adults showing up at their door in costumes demanding candy. The past few years no one has gone trick-or-treating in my neighborhood at all. Everyone takes their kids to big church gatherings where they do some kind of trunk-or-treat thing, going car-to-car or something. I guess in this age of sex offender registries and helicopter parents, not to mention rampant paranoia, parents feel safer taking their kids to these events rather than doing like my parents and just turning the kids loose to go door-to-door on their own.
Are there any county fairs or festivals held nearby during this time?
Yes, tons of them. I mean, not county fairs, but festivals with various names and themes, all intended for parents who are afraid their kids will get nabbed if they trick-or-treat the old fashioned way. I wonder if things are truly more dangerous today than in years past of if we are simply encouraged by budget-driven politicians and law enforcement agencies to think things are worse? Or perhaps the paranoia is simply an unintended consequence of the internet and maps showing where every registered sex offender in the world lives?
What is your favorite dessert for this time of year?
People eat different desserts at different times of the year? Uh ... giant hot chocolate, perhaps? Hot brownie with ice cream? One of those, probably.
Is your Thanksgiving Day in October or November, if you even celebrate it?
Is there such a thing as an October Thanksgiving? Is this in some other country or something? I only know of the one and it is in November. Why would I not celebrate it?
If you do celebrate it, where do you usually have Thanksgiving dinner?
We used to celebrate it at my mom and dad's house, but after Dad died Mom seemed to be increasingly stressed by it, so my niece volunteered to host it. Since then it has fallen to her every single year to handle it for the entire family. I sure hope she doesn't get tired of it, because if she stops we don't really have anywhere else to go. And if not for Thanksgiving and Christmas our family might never all get together and see each other. For us, these celebrations are important to keeping the family in contact with one another.
Do you remember any crafts you used to do that were autumn-themed?
I used to draw my own calendars every month for several years, so I had several that were Fall-themed. As I said, Autumn is a stripper I know, so I never did any stripper-themed crafts.
Are any of your favorite bands doing a fall tour this year?
I heard that Foreigner is coming to a city near me this month, but other than that I haven't heard of anything along those lines going on.
Which new TV show are you looking forward to this season?
I'm glad my favorite old shows are back, especially "Community," but among the new shows I think I've missed several of them. I saw and liked "Trophy Wife." I missed Michael J Fox's debut show, but I heard it was funny. I saw the premiere of "The Crazy Ones" and I haven't decided if I like it yet or not. I like Sarah Michelle Gellar and Robin Williams could potentially be a winner on this show. It's just too early to tell. I haven't watched as many new shows as most people probably have. I hate that they've moved several shows I like, such as "The Neighbors" and "Suburgatory." I'm a big believer in leaving a successful show alone and not moving it to a different night. Too bad the networks don't see it my way. I lose track of more shows this way.
How does autumn typically make you feel?
The gray skies and rainy days combined with Dallas Cowboys' losing seasons make me depressed.
What color do you always associate with autumn?
She used to wear a lot of red.
Is there a song that always reminds you of this season?
You know, I thought about this question for a long time and never could come up with an answer, so I guess the answer is "No."
Do you have any seasonal traditions?
I thought we dealt with this question already. We have a seasonal tradition of going to my niece's house and celebrating with her and her husband and all their kids. Sometimes her husband's father shows up and wants to argue about college football, but he can't find anyone to argue with because none of us follow it that closely or care enough to fight about it.
Do you spend a lot of time outside during this time of the year?
Yes, summers here are too hot and humid to enjoy being outside, so when things cool down a little like they do every Fall we go outside a lot more.
How can you tell that fall is over?
Last year the difference between Fall and Winter wasn't' very noticeable, but this year the Winter is expected to be very cold, so I imagine we'll know because it is freakin' cold outside.
What is a typical autumn outfit that you wear?
I don't wear any of Autumn's outfits. That'd make me a cross-dresser and I'm not into that.
Describe a perfect autumn day:
I don't really know what Autumn does all day. I guess she gets up around noon and then goes shopping for stripper shoes? I don't know.
Do you hate it when stores start promoting Christmas early?
I hate it when stores want to sell me a ton of crap relating to Christmas, but refuse to acknowledge that is IS Christmas they're talking about. If you want to sell me Christmas crap you'd better call it Christmas crap and not "holiday" crap or I'll shop elsewhere.
What is your favorite thing about this season?
I used to enjoy all the football games, but since the Cowboys have been crap the past 10 years or so I haven't really enjoyed it as much. I guess that's why I started watching other teams and a lot more college ball. Beyond that, not having any kids, it's hard to celebrate the Fall much because it gets dark so soon that by the time I get home from work it's dark out. Weekends are all about working on cars or the yard or cleaning the house. Wow, thinking about this is depressing me and it hasn't even happened yet. And as if to drive my point home, it is currently gray and raining outside, and the Cowboys just blew a nice lead and lost to a not-very-impressive San Diego Chargers team in the fourth quarter. What a rotten end to my weekend. Now I get to look forward to a stressful week at work. Yay Fall!