So I've been trying to run and get ready for this race. I don't want to run, though. I don't feel the urge at all. Right this second I'm supposed to be getting ready to go to the gym and I just don't feel like it.
|You're so slow!|
So, of course I sped up.
|How do you like me now?|
I didn't do my usual distance. I've been trying to psyche myself up for this race by running a distance shorter than the actual race if only because it makes me feel less pathetic and slow. I can haul ass, relatively speaking, for 2 miles and tell myself that I'm still in shape, but if I try to do that for 3 miles then I end up sore and tired and likely to skip the next workout. I should know how to train better than this, but somehow I seem to have forgotten everything I think I once knew about how to train for a race. Or maybe I just always got away with showing up and running without much effort because I used to be really fast and really young. Whatever the truth is, it isn't true of me anymore.
So I'm trying to run every single day, about 2 miles, or even a mile and a half. I just want to make sure that I run something instead of deciding to run 3 to 5 miles and then making some excuse to skip. It isn't as if the Warrior Dash is a race that people worry about their time on. That's not the point. It's obstacles and mud and fire and you have as much fun as you can without having a heart attack. That's the goal. At least it is the goal for me. I just don't want to be in such lousy shape that I stagger up to the obstacles and can't get over them because I'm so exhausted and weak.
|Alana runs the Warrior Dash|
I sat down on the leg extension machine. Some guy was on the machine to my right and some girl in a pink shirt and black pants with long hair to my left. I didn't even look at the girl. I just assumed from what little I saw that she was good-looking and would not want me to make eye contact with her because I was all sweaty and nasty and a guy. As I was doing my leg extensions, the girl got up and walked by in front of me. She wasn't good looking at all and I suddenly wondered why I just assumed that she was too good for me and wouldn't want anything to do with me. What kind of defeated person assumes they aren't good enough without even looking at the competition?
I really need to change my outlook on things, especially concerning my own self worth.