Thursday, April 11, 2013

Right Now

So, enough is enough. The company I have been working for is a body shop, a place infamous for bringing in tons of bodies, working them like slaves until they are exhausted, and then, when they slow down from fatigue or make a mistake (just a single one is enough), they throw them out again. It's a company with a well-deserved bad reputation and I will be moving on as fast as possible. I'm burned to a crisp. My mind and my body have had it. All around me I have listened to stressed out coworkers whispering about being called into their bosses offices to be screamed at for a mistake or not going fast enough or something, always something. This is a toxic environment. Having said that, I have worked with some great people. I think the problem in this place is high up, somewhere near the top, if not at the very top.

In anticipation of leaving I cancelled my brand new gym membership. I only joined because it is close to the office where I work. But if I don't plan to be working there anymore then I don't need a membership to a gym that probably won't be anywhere near my new job. Nashville keeps calling and calling. The city I'm currently in, oddly enough, does not. They don't seem to have anything going on. Its like a morgue here.

As for my workouts, I still have a race to prepare for. My last workout I needed to run, but I was going crazy from lack of weight lifting. So I did some chest and tricep exercises just to stop the atrophy that was causing me pain. Then I got on the treadmill and walked until my knee seemed ready to run. Then I ran like a mofo, faster and faster, dropping below the race-pace I plan to run for the Cotton Row Run and trying to hold it as long as I could. I didn't go the full distance because I had already done chest and triceps and have a limit on my time during lunch hour that I can exercise, shower and still get back to work. So I ran 2.1 miles as fast as I could. It wasn't fast by anyone else's standards, I'm sure, but it was faster than I have run my last few races and I felt good as I did it, which surprised me.

One thing I should mention, since I seem to tell EVERYTHING here, is that when I went to the doctor for blood tests, all I was asking about was my thyroid. But he tested other things and decided that my testosterone was too low. This would explain why my workouts seemed to have poor results, my race times keep getting slower and slower, and I keep getting injured. So my doctor put me on testosterone. Its nasty and it stinks and it makes me smell funky. But I sure am running faster all of a sudden. I'm not running at the pace I used to run, by any means, but I'm slowly moving back in the right direction, towards where I was before everything just seemed to fall apart. It makes me wonder if my testosterone levels just dropped off a cliff and this is why I am always injured and slowing down race after race. It might also explain why my naked body looks like a sack of potatoes with arms and legs instead of looking like me.

So, on top of giving me the teeniest dose of Synthroid for my thyroid problem, the doctor gave me the big T. Actually, he didn't give me the Synthroid. It was the nurse practitioner that I saw when I went back to talk about my test results at my own request. He put me on T, she put me on S.

Yes, yes, I know its annoying for me to shorten Testosterone to T and Synthroid to S, but all the stupid TV commercials are doing it and people aren't rioting in the streets about it, even though it drives most of us crazy. I figure I can do it for these two things since if you've read this far you surely know what I'm talking about. And also, I'm basically done talking about it now.

So Spring is officially here. I know this because my car is green today. Officially the car is blue. It says so on the title. But looking at it today there is no denying that it is currently green. Even the windows are green. It's so covered with pollen that you can only barely see the car beneath. And my sinuses are completely clogged with pollen. If I had a Nettie Pot I'd be trying to wash out my sinuses right this second to see if I could get some of this pollen out of there. Honestly, my nose is running like Niagara Falls and I have a trash can filled with used Kleenex sitting on front of me. I've gotten pretty good at balling it up and shooting it across the room into the trash can. It's my personal little allergy basketball game. I'm winning, by the way.

So, I'm leaving my job and potentially moving to Nashville, I'm taking testosterone and Synthroid, and my face is pouring snot out my nostrils. What other extremely personal and private information can I divulge on my very public blog against all wisdom? How about my steady plans to one day visit Australia? If I ever get to visit Australia, as I intend to do, I would like to meet up with the handful of Aussie bloggers who don't dislike me. You guys have been my friends for a long time, longer than this blog has existed, and I appreciate that. I want to see your fabulous country, get drunk in a pub, and throw pickles onto the ceiling in McDonald's, are "Maccas," like a proper Aussie.

So anyway, that's really all that's been going on. Lots of work, work, work, exercise, drugs, mucous, and emails. Pretty much catches you all up to this point. So what have you been up to lately?


  1. Well if leaving this job, and taking up something else where you WANT to be means more of you blogging and being a smart arse on FB, I say, YAY!!!! :)

    I just KNEW there was something up with your damn thyroid.
    That bloody useless 'roid is as about as helpful as an appendix. Wtf are they good for?!

    You need more testosterone, I need less of it. :o/ Swapsies?

    Yesssssssssssss!!! I will take you on a Pub crawl! then we can eat greasy Macca's afterwards!!!! :)))

    1. Count me in on the pub crawl!! not so sure about the Macca's, but I do like the pickles & won't be throwing them at the window!!!

    2. Ute, I can't guarantee it'll allow me more time for blogging activity, but it would sure be nice to have more time to simply take a breath every now and then. This past month in particular has been ridiculous.

      My doc wouldn't even agree that anything is wrong with my thyroid even with the sky high score on one of the numbers. But the nurse practitioner thought perhaps it was worth looking into so I'm on the tiniest possible dose of Synthroid. I've heard different tales about this drug. Some say it finally enabled them to lose weight and grow stronger. Others said it did not enable them to finally lose the weight. I'll be mighty upset if it doesn't.

      OK, so its official - a pub crawl and Macca's feast with flying pickles when the sun comes up!

    3. AlleyCat, OK, so far it's the three of us then!

  2. I suddenly realize what 'Mr T' stands for. Sorry to hear about the toxic environment. You're talking to an expert, unfortunately. What have I been up to? Well, I've been trying to make each day count by working a bit less and allowing myself some free time. I mean, it's Spring.... :)

    1. BlueGrumpster, who knew that Mr T was so far ahead of his time? Years later they'd be abbreviating 'testosterone' to just 'T' and there he was 20 years beforehand doing the same thing. They should pay him royalties or something.

      I understand about being an expert in toxic environments. This blog isn't OMG FML for nothing. I've had some epic bad employers before. One place was so bad I went back after a month of being sick just to turn in my resignation and leave again. And it was the toxic environment of the job that made me so sick in the first place. Once I finally quit I got well.

      Making each day count is important. We don't know how many days we're going to get, or how many of them will be Spring days compared to cold, nasty, wet Winter days.

  3. Glad to hear you are leaving your evil job. Hope you find that new position in Nashville ASAP.

    Sounds like the meds are helping!!!

    Good luck with your race training.

    Bummer about the snot; my hay fever doesn't make my nose run (much), it swells & blocks so I can't breath. & my ears itch like a mofo & I get black eyes. Rhinocourt is my friend then. My nose will probably fall off in old age.

    I'll come on a pub crawl with ya!!

    1. AlleyCat, I worked with some good people, but something is deeply wrong at the higher levels in that place. Unfortunately, its the people at the top who determine the culture, so nothing is ever going to change for the better there. As for Nashville, its still up-in-the-air as to whether that is going to work out or not. Seems companies will happily interview people from out-of-town, but prefer not to hire them. I'm not sure what the reasons are for that, but it has been that way for as long as I have been working in my profession.

      The testosterone seems to be helping. I had started to wonder if my body had just given up. Seems in fact it had, since it was no longer bothering to produce the amount of T it needed. So now I'm having to supplement what my body doesn't want to bother producing. I hope this doesn't have any nasty side-effects I don't know about. Anyway, my goal with the race training is mainly just not to get hurt while I try to prepare myself for the day that I know I'm going to start out way too fast and the weather is going to be much too hot. That's how it always goes on race day. I always end up spending the final mile just trying not to collapse. Then I get to the finish line, look at the clock as I'm approaching and cry "noooo, why wasn't I faster?!"

      The pollen levels right now are sky high and I mowed the yard without a mask on, so I inhaled a ton of toxic pollens. It'll take me all week to get this out of my sinuses. I'm not familiar with Rhinocourt, but I ended up dosing myself with some Dayquil. It stopped up the flow, which then gave me a massive migraine because the pollen is still in there, only now it isn't flowing out with the river of mucous. Win some, lose some, I guess. HA HA!

      OK, there'll be at least 3 of us for the pub crawl. Now I just have to get myself over there to the land of the golden beaches. Thing is, once I get there, I won't want to ever leave.

  4. Thank goodness you are leaving your job! It's not worth the mess sticking in jobs like that, and it's not healthy! Glad you have some medications that will work for you! So many people have to take stuff for their body deficiencies and there is no shame in that! Bodies aren't perfect, they do fall apart, and we need to give them what they need. The stigma with medication is frustrating and people should be fine with being open about things like this. It's normal.

    1. PaddedCellPrincess, I gained valuable skills at that job, but there is never any possibility of satisfying the top bosses. They want the impossible and they won't get it. Even the CEO was recently fired and replaced, which speaks to how high up this impossible demand com. Anyway, I need to read up on what side-effects come from taking this T supplement, if any. I don't want any unpleasant surprises.