Holy Bobcats, Batman!

OK, so it's been over a week since I blogged, if I remember correctly. In that time there has been some chaos, but I don't want to blog about most of it. The main thing, since this seems to be my fitness blog as much as anything, and I'm not really sure how that happened since it wasn't my intent, but I haven't been able to run or walk all week. Partly it is because I've been out of town. Partly it is because of my injured calf not being healed enough for a good solid run. And partly it is because of certain wild animals currently roaming our neighborhood.

We have a family of bobcats living near my house.

I wanted to put that previous statement in a line all by itself so you could think about it for a second as your eyes scanned down to the next sentence. Yes, bobcats.

I was talking to my neighbors the other day about how unhappy we are that some douchemonkey bought a 10 acre plot of land around the corner from my street and just leveled the trees, leaving behind broken, ruined trees and a big mud hole full of water and mosquitoes. It's been that way for over 6 months with absolutely nothing more being done with this land. It looks like a tornado armed with a chainsaw ripped through a single 10 acre stretch of land and destroyed everything on it. But it wasn't a tornado. It was a douchebag. And I know he destroyed all 10 acres despite it now being an uncrossable mudhole/swamp thanks to him because I can see it on satellite view courtesy of our all-seeing, perpetually watching, electronically spying government. This issue has me more than a little irritated. So I mentioned it to our neighbors while we were sitting on their back patio.  And this is how my neighbor responded:

Hello, we're new to the neighborhood ...

"There is a family of bobcats over there now, too. I've seen them twice. In broad daylight. I've seen them running across the road there, with three babies."

I took a keen interest in this for self-preservation reasons. "Um, across the road where? Where the trees are leveled, right where I go running every day?"

"Yep. I'd carry something with you in case you encounter them if I were you."

Oh, so awesome. What shall I carry? A camera perhaps? It'd make an awesome photo, wouldn't it?

"Here's a great shot of 4 bobcats that I took right before I was mauled by the big one. Isn't she pretty? Look how big her paws are. Those claws are razor sharp, too, believe me."

How about a gun? If you're a runner then I'm sure you can imagine how annoying it would be having a heavy steel gun banging against you as you jog along. It'd beat you to death.

One person suggested I wear a shoulder holster. That way the gun could beat my ribs instead of my groin like a fanny pack would do. I'm all for choosing to sacrifice ribs over groin, especially since its impossible to stand, let alone run, after being hit in the groin. But I'd really prefer not to get either ribs or groin pounded by a metal object while running. And carrying it in my hand isn't a good idea either, especially out here in the country where people might mistake me for a man running with gun in hand for some evil reason and decide to apprehend me. Country people are doers and they'll take matters into their own hands if they think the situation calls for it.

Imagine driving down a country road in your big Dodge Ram pickup truck when you come upon a man in running shorts and a sweaty shirt, all red faced, running down the side of the road with a gun in his hand. You'd consider hitting him and then calling the police, wouldn't you? Maybe he's running because of something bad he did? The idea that he might be running from a family of bobcats probably wouldn't be the first thought to enter your mind.

So, someone else mentioned pepper spray. All of my canisters of pepper spray are older than dirt. So I may have to make a trip to the store and see if I can find a brand new can of it that is big enough to make me feel safe running with bobcats, but small enough to still be carry-able while running. I hope so because I can't really think of anything else that would work. Everyone I talked to seems to feel expert enough on the subject of what works to fend off a wild bobcat that they all agree on pepper spray. I just wonder how the  heck they know this?