No, I don't want to go.
No, I don't know if this is for the best.
Yes, I chose to do this.
And yes, I'll get a raise, but even so I am leaving behind everyone I care about except for one person.
And yes, I'm going back to that place I fought so long and hard to get away from because she refuses to leave. And also because we have a house there that just won't sell. She has a job there paying her well. And she has some health issues that are increasingly a concern and she isn't doing well there on her own.
And no, if you don't know what I'm talking about it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you. Only a small handful do. I'm sorry that I'm not explaining. I don't want to write this over at the other place. I don't really want to write this at all. But I know that a few of you have picked up on what is going on through Facebook, so I thought I'd just put this out here. I'm going back. If you pray, please pray for me, because this is possibly the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't want to go.
A very hard decision that I'm sure didn't come about very easily.
ReplyDeleteDon't dread it. It could be the best thing ever for your marriage.
I hope your wife's health improves.
Big cyber hugs to you... I'm so very sad about this.
ReplyDeleteBut as Amanda said, this may very well be the best thing that you can do.
Btw, can you switch off this annoying captcha thingy?? I can't even fkn read the words! :o/
Amanda, no, it certainly didn't come easily. I'm hoping and praying that it is for the best. I feel like I've already lived through the worst. I couldn't take much more. Many doctors appointments ahead while we try to figure out what is going on with her health.
ReplyDeleteUte, thank you, I need the hugs. I don't know what is going on with the comments on Blogger, but they are making me crazy, too. I didn't turn on the caption requirement, but suddenly every time I try to leave a comment it asks me to prove I'm not a robot. I couldn't comment at all over at HoneyMinxy's blog until I closed Internet Explorer and used Firefox. Even then it gave me hell.
Biggest Hugs to you dear friend. You will be in my thoughts & prayers. As Amanda says, maybe this will all work out for the best. Please keep an open mind & open your heart regardless how you feel now about having to leave. Good luck with the move. xoxo
ReplyDeleteAlleyCat, I appreciate that. I am trying to look at the positives in this, but it is very hard and very stressful. I never planned or wanted to go back.
ReplyDeleteEeeeeek! This is soooo scary! But you are tough and you can see this through! I'm around if you need a friend to talk to. {{BIG HUG}}
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope this is a case of having to go back before you can go forward (if you know what I mean). I think you are stronger than you know. Take care brother (from another mother - as Zac says).
ReplyDeleteHang in there and try and make the best of it...Sol sorry...
ReplyDeleteMinxy, I very much appreciate that. Once I get settled in and catch my breath I'll try to hit you up and maybe we can get together for lunch or something.
ReplyDeleteAlleyCat, I hope so, too. I very much want to move forward, but I fear more and more that I am being used.
TellingItLikeItIs, I have been trying to make the best of it for a very long time. I'm reaching a point where I want something in return or else I want out.
I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. I'm also sorry for all that's going on in your life right now. You are definitely in my prayers and I hope you find this to be a bigger blessing than it is a frustration. Blog hugs to you!
ReplyDelete